September 29, 2008

What Makes Me Smile


Friday night Shirley and Mike had Steve and I over for dinner. It was delicious. Steak, potatoes, corn, the works. After dinner, we sat on the deck with a fire lit and just talked the night away. The weather was perfect. It was a wonderful evening ... Thank you Shirley!!!

Saturday Shirley, Mom and Sam spent the day at the Renaissance Festival. That afternoon Shirley brought Sam and Alex over to spend the night with my kiddos. Something that is very important to know...Nik, Jake, Sam and Alex are best friends. They call themselves "the gang". I'm not sure they are ever as happy as when they are all together. They had a wonderful time together Saturday night eating pizza, playing video games and of course staying up very, very late.
Now, to what makes me smile...When I took Sam and Alex home Sunday, we first stopped by Grandma and Grandpa's to visit for awhile. When we got ready to go they all insisted on riding in the back of the truck. (I know it's against the law). As I was driving down the country road, I looked in the mirror. I saw four wonderful children, hair blowing in the wind and the biggest smiles I have ever seen. They were so happy and content just being together and riding in the back of this truck. So innocent and not a care in the world. For that moment anyway, neither did I. I wanted it to last forever.

So this week, when I get stressed or worried, I will think of that moment. And hopefully it will bring back that same feeling I had yesterday. I wish for all of us we could just live in that moment.

But this week does bring some stress and worry. Tomorrow Shirley will have her appt. to have her CT scans done and see her doctor. We will get update on those tumor markers and see where we are at. Friday, Dad will have his procedure for his arteries. Please pray for our family this week that by Friday night, we will have had all good news.

Until then, I'm taking myself back to that country road with 4 kids in the back of my truck!!!!

Love,

Teresa

September 23, 2008

Some Inspiration

THE SUN IS STILL SHINING

Did you know the clouds simply hide from your sight...
The warmth of God's love and strength of his might?
And these days filled with rain, flood a desperate soul
Where once there was joy and your spirit felt whole.

Did you know there is hope as you rise from despair?
On the wings of His mercy, He'll carry you there...
High above clouds filled with worry and pain
You'll see much more clearly His love never changed.

So let's rise above storms that obscure hopes and dreams
Where our future is hopeful... not what it now seems.
Did you know that God loves you... His love shining bright?
That together you'll triumph through day & through night?

Let us run to God's side when the clouds dim our sight...
Through His eyes we'll see clearly...
The "Son's" love shining bright!

September 22, 2008

A Dog Named Sue




We would like to introduce you to our new baby. Our dog named Sue. For those of you who like Johnny Cash you will get the meaning...because it's a boy!!!


A Dog Named Sue.

September 19, 2008

It's Finally Friday

It's been a really long week. And I am glad it's Friday. I was told by a little birdie (Kathy) that Shirley was extremely tired yesterday. Not feeling very good:( I did get to talk to her last night. She wasn't doing too bad, but heading back to bed. Kathy had stopped by earlier in the day and she just saw Shirley walk out of her bedroom, to the bathroom, and back to the bedroom. So Kathy went in and gave her a kiss and a hug and let her go back to sleep. Those days make me and Kathy ... and I am sure everyone else...very sad. But it's just the way it is. And it makes it better knowing that today, she had enough energy to get up and go to work. And work all day. Shirley's a fighter!!!!

This weekend I gave Shirley instructions to rest up. It's her week off of the evil drugs and I want it to be a good one. We will all need the week to rest up to get ready for the next week. The 30th Shirley goes in for her full day at the Cancer Center. We start off early with CT Scans, blood work, Doctor, and Chemo. Oh and we can't forget dinner after that. Of course. And then on that Friday dad will have his procedures done. Don't ask me what they are, because I don't know, but I do know that it will make him feel better. I am thanking God that he at least made that appointment.

So before I leave this blog for the weekend, I am asking everyone to pray extra hard for Shirley to feel good. Let's all pray for her tests to come out with good results and for dad's procedures to go well. And let's get these two healthy again.

Teresa

September 14, 2008

Happy Birthday To You!!!!!






It's officially Shirley's birthday. Yea!!! We had a great time last night. The group included Mom, Shirley, Cindy, Bea, Kathy and Teresa. It was a great time. After Shirley opened her birthday gifts, we went and had dinner at Red Lobster. Dinner was really good and then we went to see the movie "The Women". It was a really late night and actually I think Shirley did better than a lot of us. I attached some pictures of our night out.

Kathy and I had spent the day before we went out shopping for Shirley. We decided to get her the Christmas Carolers that she wanted for Christmas this year. I think she really liked them. We had so much fun shopping for them at Old Time Pottery and we are definitely going back there to do some more shopping. She got some other great gifts and if I did not have early Alzheimer's disease I would remember what they were. But considering my condition, I can't remember them at all. Sorry. If you talk to Shirley, I'm sure she will be glad to tell you what she got.

Tomorrow we go back to chemo. It will be a late appointment and then out to dinner. Get through this week and then try to have a healthier week off next week. Get your rest Shirley...you are a little older now.
Happy Birthday Shirley!!!!!

September 12, 2008

Shirley's Work Birthday





How nice are these people. Shirley's co-workers made her feel very special on Wednesday. Guess how I know that...she told me. She had a wonderful pre-birthday celebration. I hope they read this blog so they know how much they are appreciated. Thank you!!!!

Teresa

September 11, 2008

Three Days Until....

Shirley's birthday. I know you don't feel good today but I wanted you to know I am thinking about you. And I can't wait to celebrate your birthday with you on Saturday.

I love you,

Teresa:)

September 09, 2008

I know this will make you cry but...

Another little something I found on one of my many websites I get on. I know this will make some of us cry, and it may not all apply to Shirley. But maybe it applies to somebody else we know with cancer and help us understand. This is so hard for everyone and no one really knows the right thing to say or do. Maybe this helps:

GUIDE FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY

If I should lose my hair because of my treatments, PLEASE DON’T say “It’s only hair” or “But you have such a beautiful face”. My hair is a part of my identity, my sexuality, my feelings of who I am as a woman. It’s a part of me.

PLEASE DO say “I’m so sorry that you have to go through this”, or I can’t know how you’re feeling, but I’m here to listen if you need me.”

REMEMBER I am not only losing my hair, I’m also afraid and fighting for my life. My hair is just the outside expression of what is going on inside my body, and I’m reminded of it every time I look in a mirror.

If I should express anger or depression, PLEASE DON’T say “You have to stay positive” or “Let’s talk about the good things in your life”. Accept that I‘m afraid, lonely, anxious and in pain. I NEED to let these feelings out.

PLEASE DO show me you are willing to listen. Don’t feel you have to “fix it”. Don’t worry about saying the “right” thing, it’s ok to tell me you don’t know what to say.

REMEMBER no matter how supportive you are, my feelings don’t disappear when I hang up the phone. Call again tomorrow to see how I’m doing, or drop a card in the mail to say you’re thinking of me.

If I say I’m tired, PLEASE DON’T say “Who isn’t tired?” The tiredness I feel from my treatments goes beyond fatigue.

REMEMBER I still have to do the same housecleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, that you do, while being physically, emotionally, and financially exhausted.

If I need to talk about the possibility of my own death, PLEASE DON’T say “Stop talking like that” or “Everyone’s going to die. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow”. The only way you can compare getting hit by a bus and going through treatments for cancer is if when the bus hit you, it dragged you around for five years before you died.

PLEASE DO listen to my fears. Just listen and let me know you’re there for me. I know how important is is to be positive, but sometimes I just need to cry, scream and talk about how unfair life is.

REMEMBER, I am on chemicals that are poisons. My hormones and emotions, my body, my plans for the future, my activity level, my finances and friendships have all been affected by cancer.

PLEASE DON’T tell me cancer is a blessing or a gift. If cancer were a gift, I would have asked for the receipt a long time ago, and returned it! Many gifts and blessings in life come from experience, but please don’t give cancer credit for that.

Cancer is the challenge.Strength, courage, hope and determination are the blessings.Your friendship, support and understanding are the gifts.

REMEMBER above all else, cancer has not only affected me. It has affected you, too. And just as I have asked you to be there for me, I promise to do what I can to be there for you

Update - (I'm not very creative with my post titles)

Last night Shirley had chemo. We did get her tumor markers back from her appt. on Thursday and they have gone up slightly. Now what does this mean...who knows. They tell you not to get too excited when they go down so I guess don't get too scared when they go up??? That's how we are going to deal with it. Shirley will have chemo next Monday again, then the next week she will have off. On the 30th we will have a full day. She will have CT scans, bloodwork, Doctor appointment and then Chemotherapy. This appointment should tell us if we have anything to worry about. If the tumors are still reacting positively to her treatment and we will find out her tumor markers again.

Shirley did feel like she had a virus last week so we are wondering if that could affect the tumor markers. I guess I could sit here and wonder all day. But I won't. I'm going to wait until we see the doctor again on the 30th and get questions answered then.

After the appointment, Mom, Kathy, Shirley and I went to Outback. Again, the laughter was ridiculous. There was the constant threat of food or drink being spit on the person across from them at any moment. This seems to be a problem with these women...as soon as we take a drink or bite of food....that's when we have to say the funniest thing you have ever heard. Lots of self control is needed to keep the food or beverage in the mouth.

So Chemo is over for this week. Shirley...please take it a little easier this week. You have been doing a lot and I think it's taking its toll on your body. Give it a little bit of a break. I know it's hard, but we need you healthy and feeling good so that we can all enjoy your birthday with you Saturday night.

My Love to everyone and have a great week!!!!!!!

Teresa

September 08, 2008

I Think Fall is Coming

I am so surprised with this weather. Surprised...but happy. I love the fall and this time of year. And I think it is here to stay. I hope anyway. I didn't post much last week, I was sick a couple of days. I actually missed Shirley's appt. on Thursday. I was told it went well. Just the routine check up. She did do her bloodwork but we did not get her tumor markers back yet. That should be today. I was not happy at all about missing this appointment and we are going to hope that does not happen again. I feel like one appointment means so much. I have been with Shirley since this whole journey started, from the night she called and told me she had pain in her side, to the day she got diagnosed with this cancer...so I am sure that will be the last appt. I miss. I am sure the entire Cancer Center would not have appreciated somebody with a fever running around in there. They have enough to deal with. So we move on...Today we have chemo at 4:30.

The weekend was a good one. Nik (my son) turned 17 on Saturday and we celebrated at Mom and Dad's. Great time of course. Nik chose to have his party there so thank you mom and dad for letting us do that.

Sunday I am sure Shirley was busy celebrating Mike's birthday. He turned 40 yesterday. Happy Birthday Mike. This Saturday we will celebrate Shirley's birthday!!!!! I am really excited. Mom, Shirley, Cindy, Bea, Kathy and I are going to dinner and a movie.

So we will spend the rainy evening at the Cancer Center. I've said it many times, but I am looking forward to seeing the ladies...not the chemo.

Teresa

September 02, 2008

Labor Day






The 3 day weekend is over. :( But a lot was accomplished and we had a lot of fun. Shirley and I spent Saturday organizing and cleaning her basement. I think we got most of it done and I hope she feels better about that situation.

The kids spent a lot of time at Grandma and Grandpa's and hopefully got some stuff done that Grandpa needed done. I know that from the stories they tell me, they had a blast. We all spent Sunday afternoon at Tom and Cindy's...where else. One last swim for the summer. And a wonderful cook out. Lots of family, food and beer. My kind of day. I think we should also end the summer thanking Tom and Cindy for allowing us to spend so much time over there enjoying their pool and they always end up cooking all the meat. It's a lot of work for a family of our size and I'm not sure they get thanked enough for that. So I will do it here for everyone because I know everyone feels the same way. You guys are awesome. And the best part was Brandon surprised everyone and came home for the weekend. I know that made Cindy happy.

So no Chemo this week ....which is probably good, Shirley needs the break. I know she has not felt the best lately. She puts on a good front for everyone, but I know. I think 5 or 6 months of poison being put in any of our bodies would make us not feel very good. We do go see the doctor on Thursday just for the normal checkup and then start chemo next Monday again.

Mom, Shirley, Sam, Kelsey and I all went to a place called Old Time Pottery in Independence yesterday. It was a really nice place and had tons of holiday stuff out. Can't wait for the holidays!!!! My favorite time of year. My kids tell me that they almost enjoy Thanksgiving as much as they do Christmas. They are learning to appreciate family. And I promise everyone that more than ever I am so thankful for all of you and all that we have. I know we all are.

Love,

Teresa